Living With Disabilities

Did you ever hear about the man who was in a car accident and became completely paralyzed on the left side of his body?  The doctor said, “He is going to be all right.”

Pros:

• Parking closer to the entrance of buildings (great in rain & snow)
• Getting on rides quicker at amusement parks
• Free flights for your travel companion
• Shoes last longer
• You only need to iron the front side of your clothes

Cons:

• You are limited to the activities you can do
• Things take longer and require more energy
• Sitting all the time is highly over-rated
• Your body doesn’t always work the way it should
• Living expenses are more
• People treat you differently

There are many more things I could add to these lists, but I think I covered the main ones.  One thing I get asked about being married to Steve is, “Did his disability bother you?”  Hello!  If it did, would I be writing this right now?!  I usually chuckle to myself and with a smile tell them I never even noticed it.  This tends to surprise them or I get congratulated for taken such a big step.  I feel really uncomfortable when that happens.  It’s one of those awkward moments where you think you hear crickets chirping in the background.  You see, I knew Steve before his accident and then I knew Steve after his accident.  Steve was the same before as he was after – just the way he got around was different.  I did not do some heroic deed because I wanted to date Steve and then eventually married him.  Please do not put me up on a pedestal like that.  It would actually be the other way around – Steve wanting to date homely, pathetic me.  I loved and love Steve because who he is, not what he is.  Living with a disability can be quite demanding at times and life is not always easy.  Things take longer and there are definitely more challenges in a day than a “normal” person would face.  I still haven’t figured out what normal means, but…  It really is how you look at it.  It has been said, OUTLOOK DETERMINES OUTCOME.

There are so many stories we could tell regarding living with the wheelchair.  I have lost count of how many times I have dumped Steve out.  The worst part is, I usually have to sit down and laugh for a good five minutes before helping him back in.  This has not gone over well when one of those times a dog had been by the same spot before we got there.  There was also the time I came home from church and saw Steve’s wheelchair flipped over backwards.  I ran to the bedroom thinking the worst as he wasn’t feeling well.  I found him buck-naked reading a book.  Upon further questioning he retold the events.  He had taken and shower and was heading back to bed when he missed the transfer and landed on the floor, taking his chair with him.  He couldn’t figure out how to get back up into his chair on his own, so he thought he would take the opportunity to read a book that he happened to find laying under the bed. As I rushed into the room yelling his name at the top of my lungs, body gripped with fear, the first words out of his mouth were, “I’m so glad you don’t vacuum under here, this is a great book.”  

We have watched kids fall backwards over parking abutments, or walk head long into Walmart aisle product displays because they couldn’t take their eyes off the guy in the wheelchair.  People have talked very loud because “apparently” a Spinal Cord Injury (SCI) has affected Steve’s hearing.  Also, how do you keep a straight face when a waitress looks at you to find out what your disabled husband wants to eat or when a mechanic talks to you instead of the invalid you brought out for the day.  I choose those times to become mute and stare at my husband until they take the hint.

We have done so much together, more than most people would think possible.  Disabilities become part of your life, they shouldn’t stop your life.  When I thought of the title for this post, my mind immediately went to the idea that we all have disabilities.  In truth, a disability is “the inability to do something,” it has the idea that one is limited in what they can do.  I know I have many limitations.  There are so many things I cannot do on my own, however, I know Someone who is greater!  I know the One who is able to do all things and because of that, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13.  None of us are perfect, none of us are normal.  Another verse that Steve and I recall to mind (many times), is  2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 

OUTLOOK DETERMINES OUTCOME.