According to Merriam-Webster, pain is:
- “a : usu. localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury); also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action
- b : acute mental or emotional distress or suffering: grief” (I would add depression to this too)
Pain can be acute (short duration) or chronic (ongoing). We all have our own perception and tolerance level of pain and none of us are immune to it. It is not just a “pain in the neck” or a “pain in the butt”…it is unpleasant – for those going through it and those watching/caring for the individual. Who knew such a little word could pack such a big punch?!
Does this subject irritate you or bring you discomfort? Please don’t torture yourself by reading this, it is not meant to torment or afflict you. Okay, I will put an end to the agony and misery of using these synonyms. I hope I did not cause any hurt or ache to your eyes as they were rolling? Oh, alright, I’ll stop before I cause any more trouble. In case you haven’t guessed, my rant is going to be on pain – glad I cleared that up?! Living with pain…where to begin. Well, it exists in our day-to-day life. Spinal cord injuries and all they encompass are followed by pain. I am not going to rehash and dwell on the past. No! Right now, I’m am dwelling on this past week. I’m staying current – I’m being real – the here and now. The beginning of the week I spent bathing in pain and the middle to end Steve has been rolling around in it. As it stands sits now, his pain will likely continue for quite some time until we can find a solution or it runs it course. We aren’t talking “ouch, I stubbed my toe” pain or “I have a sliver pain”. We are talking pain that even on pain meds won’t subside. The kind that finds you crying because all you want is relief. For myself, I know it will subside. For Steve, we wait, pray and cope.
When I found the picture above, I knew it was perfect. I know, I’m crazy! Pain a blessing? You must have swallowed one to many pain meds this week! I will admit, I have a hard time with this caption too. Especially when you are staring into the white face with red swollen eyes and clenched jaw of your husband, whose every move and faint smile is trying so desperately (but failing miserably) to hide pain. PAIN HURTS! I am not him, but I feel his pain. My heart aches because this is something I cannot help with. “Why, Lord?” “Why are we blessed with this?” This is when I step back. This is when a decision has to be made. Do I become angry and stare only at the bark on the tree in front of me or do I step back, think on what is real and true, search for answers and see the beautiful colours of the autumn kissed forest. After a day of struggle I choose the second option. If there is anything I can do to help my husband and us as a couple get through this distressing time is to be strong and find encouragement to pass on. So, these are the places my thoughts have been:
1. Where did this pain come from? Well, if I trace is all the way back – the minute Adam and Eve disobeyed. That’s right! Pain is a direct descendant of sin. Another even smaller word that packs a mighty punch. So, because of our sinful state, we will continue to be plagued with pain and all that encompasses. So, in a sense I need to accept that this is life. My hope: John 16:33 (“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”) One day all pain will cease (Revelation 21:4 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”) Heaven awaits!
2. Jesus knows all about our troubles! This pain had to go through God first and it met His approval so…’If He brought us to it…He will see us through it”. Scripture tells me He is acquainted with our grief – we are not doing this alone. Isaiah 53 says He was “A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” Psalm 139 is an excellent passage to read and be reminded that our Maker knows every intimate detail about us and has known it since before we were born.
3. No pain, no gain! I hate lifting weights (because it hurts), but without that ache I cannot get stronger and therefore, I cannot assist my husband. Do you see where I am going with this? Okay, I don’t like this part either and it is the harder thought to accept. So we can be in this together. I don’t want Satan to win by discouraging me – I don’t want to go down that road. It only brings anger and bitterness – what fun are those?! The only way I can think to deal with this is to constantly be thinking and asking, “Lord what can we learn through this, how can we be used through this?” Well, what about trusting in Him more, relying on Him more, resting in Him more? Going back to the no pain, no gain. If Steve and I don’t go through this pain, how can we become better or advance? How can we help others? For starters 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Each day this is all we need. Grace. Sufficient grace for each day – sufficient strength for each day. I know, I know! There are days when we wonder does God have any clue that this is not enough strength or grace. Or what about the line, I’m pretty sure this all I can handle Lord, I’m not sure who You think I am. Yup! I’ve used that one tons. One day I might buy myself a cape and tights, but then again, even super heroes have bad days. I have so many verses (my Bible is full of yellow highlighting) that pertain to this very thought. I will just list a few to give you the idea.
- Romans 5:3-5 “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
- 1 Peter 1:6-9 “ In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.
- 1 Peter 5:10 “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
- James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
So, those have been my thoughts. One last thing. Remember the synonyms for pain I listed earlier? Well, can I list some antonyms for you? I’m going to anyway, regardless of how you answered that questions. Here they are: advantage, aid, assistance, benefit, blessing, comfort, contentment, ease, good health, happiness, help, joy, peace, pleasure, relief, wellness, cheer, and well-being. Now, think of all these antonyms in respect to the verses listed above. Don’t you see the flip side of pain. It’s like pain is the underside of a tapestry and the work that God is doing through the pain is the masterpiece on the other side. This is how I choose to cope. This is how I choose to deal with life (Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”)