For those who do not know, for those who do know and for those who need clarification, this post is for you.

The big news for 2017, was that Steve and I became legal guardians of a 21 year old young lady, Ashley.

As one of our earlier posts explains, Steve and I were unable to have children of our own.  We had explored the world of adoption for a number of years, but after much prayer and discussion decided to lay that part of our hearts aside and trust that there was a much bigger plan for our lives.  God can still fulfill and use individuals who do not marry or have children.  What followed that decision was an abundance of opportunities that allowed us to invest in the lives of young people.  That ranged from having them in our home to play games, watch movies, pray with them, cry with them, and encourage them to coaching a baseball team, and many more things.  Along with work and things at home, we were quite content with what we were doing, however, there is that verse in Ephesians that says, God “is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think…”.  This was indeed one of those above and beyond things!  

Ashley was someone we had gotten to know over a number of years.  She attended youth retreats at the Bible school and eventually attended NBBI and graduated last year from the three year program.  She was someone that stood out in the crowd – tie-dyed shirts, very peppy and loved her coffee.  This girl was crazy, but in an absolute riot of a way.  However, underneath all this, was a girl searching for love, for a stable family, for someone to say it’s going to be okay; for acceptance, for guidance, for understanding.  She hid it all well.  Her saving grace and the reason for her smile was the assurance that she had put her faith and trust in Jesus and He was bigger than all she endured.  Ashley came from an environment that fairy tales do not describe.  Her biological father left when she was quite young; her mom found someone else, but there was constant unrest and upheaval during her childhood years.  When things became unsafe, Ashley was taken in by a church family for a time and from then on bounced around from place to place.  When we have not lived in a situation like this, it is hard to understand and imagine why/how parents allow this to happen.  We have a huge tendency to criticize and look down upon them.  “The Blind Side” is a movie that reminds us of our situation.  There is also a book and I would recommend it to anyone.  The young man in the movie reminds me of Ashley.  I believe that Ashley’s mom loved her the best way she knew how.  Perhaps she was never given the upbringing some of us have been privileged to, perhaps she wasn’t given the tools, perhaps she did not know what true love was herself.  However, God saw the needs Ashley had and allowed her to go through the things she has so He could write an amazing story that others would need to hear. 

So this brings us to May 2017.  New Brunswick Bible Institute had become home to Ashley for three years and now that graduation was over she was unsure of what life was going to bring.  She did not really have a place to go, but she had a landscaping job she could return to in her hometown.  We had established a close enough friendship with her that we assured her our door was always open and she was welcome to stay her anytime.  We said our good-byes and went our separate ways.  A few weeks later, a late night knock at the door and a bouquet of flowers brought Ashley into our home.  She stayed for a few days and then returned to her job.  This started to become a regular occurrence and we were all enjoying our time spent together.  It felt so natural.  It didn’t hurt that I received flowers every time she came!  One day over a phone call the topic of adoption came up.  (This was something I had joked about with Steve a number of times over the years of knowing Ashley, but because she was still in contact with her parents, thought it not possible).  So from here we inquired and found out it was now called legal guardianship and even though she was 21 it was still possible.  We decided to take a month to pray about it and discuss it further.  After all this was a huge step/change in all our lives.  Honesty, we had no hesitations.  During this time, I just happened to start reading in 1 Samuel.  This is the story of Hannah.  She longed for a child and pleaded for many years to the Lord.  I know this story like the back of my hand, but for some reason these words jumped off the page at me, “after some time, Hannah conceived…”.  I felt like it was confirmation from God that it was okay to proceed, it was right, it was His timing.  So 2017 became our “after some time.”  By the end of the month we were all in agreement and began the process of changing her name.  Her one complaint was going from the beginning of the alphabet to the end. 

It has been a bag of mixed emotions since we began and completed this process.  I don’t like to share my deep personal thoughts (perhaps called venting) online, but I am new to this world of adoption and maybe others have perspective I can draw from.  I have experienced the highs and elation from the announcement of “we are expecting!”, so I imagined it would be like that when adoption was announced.  Sadly, in many cases, it was met with questions, concerns, even some contention.  In hind sight perhaps we could have done things a little different, but I don’t believe there is a rule book that states the correct method to announce adoption to the world.  Our process happened quickly, it was out of the blue, but God was in it and doors seemed to fly open.  If pregnancy is decided between the couple that are trying, should not adoption?  Sometimes the adoption process is long, sometimes short.  I actually believe adopting an individual may be harder than raising your own biological children.  We are not given the years to grow with and experience things with our children, we have to play catch up and learn things after the fact.  The children coming to us adoptive parents already have personalities, likes, dislikes, hobbies, thoughts, etc.  We need to learn these, remember them and adjust.  The child/children need to do the same thing.  We are pleased we do not have to go through the dirty diapers and terrible twos.  It is a very special thing to be called Mum and Dad – something we do not take for granted.  It is also such a delight to get cards from the “daughter” section.    

In thinking over the situation we all went through and perhaps in answering some of the questions as to why did you do it or why did Ashley want this, I was given this thought.  Technically, all of us were or are searching for love and belonging.  The only one Who can fulfill those longings is Christ.  As believers – Christ followers, we are adopted by the Father and become His children.  We get to take on His name!  He becomes our GUARDIAN, POWER OF ATTORNEY, ULTIMATE PARENTAL FIGURE, PROVIDER, KEEPER; He lavishes on us UNCONDITIONAL, UNFAILING LOVE, GRACE and MERCY.  God is the author of adoption.  I am so glad to be part of His family.  My earthly parents have done the best they can, but they couldn’t fill the hole in my heart…the longing for something more.  My heart is now full.  My family tree encompasses a very blended family all because of Jesus. 

The picture I have attached below hangs on our wall for all to see.  I was staring at it one day after our camping trip and suddenly a smile came to my face and a peaceful rest over my soul.  The garden we had this taken displayed some characters shaped out of greenery and we happened to choose this particular figure (a gardener).  Jesus is referred to as a gardener after He rose from the grave.  The picture now has special meaning to us as we know this was orchestrated in heaven and the “Gardener” will continue to nurture and tend to our new family, growing it in the way He desires.  Putting us on display to encourage others and, hopefully, allow His glory to shine through us.